Blacksnake Rd. Easley, SC, 1982—Just remember–I really am not making these stories up. They happened, ‘truth is stranger than fiction.’
There were lots of good parts to being a stay at home mom, but the downside was that money was scarce. Steak wasn’t on the menu when Max(ine) was around. That summer of ’82 we were growing Leonard the Goat. The rest of the provisions would be field peas and cornbread, field peas and cornbread and…..Steve provided for us well throughout his career as Ma Duke’s child, but sometimes the money almost ran out before the month did. Our 15 acres of land included a Russian boar, goats, steak on the hoof[1], chickens, and a garden. Our land was our grocery store.
With the advent of Max(ine) and Vivy, we decided that Leonard the Goat was going down. Steve and two of his neighbor friends took poor Leonard to the abattoir[2] at Fountain Inn outside of Greenville. They waited while Leonard was executed without benefit of a trial. Leonard died so that we could host a goat b-cue. When Steve and I had a pig pickin’, goat b-cue or anything related to eating we invited the neighbors. They came bringing covered dishes and loads of young ‘uns. Our 6 ft. aluminum table went up for the food. Steve had a hole in the side yard to heap coal into, and a grate. We covered the hole with part of an aluminum roof to trap the heat from the fire. The goat was sandwiched between the aluminum roof and the grate.
Forty eight hours before Leonard was to be grilled, Steve marinated him to ‘purge the wild’ out of the meat. See Marinade below.[3]After Leonard was fully marinated he was moved to the grilling site and was mopped intermittently with eastern North Carolina mopping sauce. [4] The mop had to be a sturdy stick as long as your arm with cheese cloth or a torn up sheet tied around the end. Mop the inside and outside of the goat. Men, women, and children took turns and soon Leonard was a crispy critter with barbecue flavoring.
We were now nearly four weeks into Max(ine’s) visit. Steve’s mom, Grandma B.B. used to say, ‘fish and company smell after three days, our company was really stinkin’.
Steve developed a plan to send Max(ine) and Vivy back from whence they came. “I’ll go and get some cheap wine, and after the goat b cue, load the cooler with goat sandwiches and wine. I’ll ease Max(ine) into the notion of getting home sick to see his roots in the Lowgrounds.” He asked me to check our food money for the rest of the month to find out if we could buy him a bus ticket. I checked and reported, “We can only get them as far as Salisbury, NC, then they’re on their own.” Steve chuckled, “Well, if I get them relaxed enough they won’t pay any attention to the ticket, until the bus driver tells them they have to get off in Salisbury.” That’s how Max(ine) and Vivy left the goat b-cue, very relaxed and full of goat meat. Steve put them on the bus in Greenville, of course, the bus would stop in Kings Mountain before it landed in Salisbury. We held our breaths through the next day. One dreaded thought was, ‘What if he cashes in his ticket at Kings Mountain and comes back?’
Apparently they did make it back to the Lowgrounds, Max(ine) called a few times after that. I would say, “Steve isn’t home” whether he was or not. Steve realized that Max(ine) in the house could become a permanent condition. This now infamous Massey event is a good lesson for not wearing out your welcome in somebody else’s house. You might end up with a wine headache and goat sandwiches.
I don’t know if Max Massey is dead or alive, but I pray that he made it from the Lowgrounds to the highest ground of all if he has passed.
In memory of a brown-eyed soft hearted man: Steve Massey
December 9, 1940-January 31, 1996
[1] Steak on the hoof-Bessie or Bubba the cow
[2] Abattoir-slaughterhouse for animals
[3] Soak dead and skinned animal in whole milk and 1 tbsp. cinnamon. Cover animal with milk, turn twice daily. Dump milk, but don’t wash the animal. Cook using your favorite road kill grill recipe.
[4] Eastern North Carolina Mopping Sauce-cider vinegar, mustard, salt, black pepper to an Eastern North Carolinian’s taste, red pepper, red pepper flakes, and brown sugar. This is allowed to stand four hours before using, the sauce, that is-‑the pig/goat is dead as a doornail. This sauce is served from Raleigh to the Outer Banks.