A Soul’s Cry: My Journey to Faith
By Ann Coogler
Copyright: Billie Lewis Publications 2007
Mental illness in a family of the Fifties and Sixties was rarely discussed, even in a home where this disorder was present. It was as if it would somehow go away if it weren’t mentioned. As of 2006, 60% of the disability rewards in this country are due to a mental disorder of some type. The pendulum has swung from mental illness being a hidden horror, to this disease being as common as a virus. Even though depression is now a norm in society, it still carries an aura of unspoken shame for families affected by it.
As early as the Old Testament, David gave the appearance of being insane to escape from a harmful situation. In I Samuel, David could have been applying for a fraudulent disability claim when he gave the appearance of a lunatic, “So he disguised his sanity before them, and acted insanely in their hands, and scribbled on the doors of the gate, and let his saliva run down into his beard.” I Samuel 21:13.
The stigma that continues to follow depression is in the eyes of those who
haven’t been touched by its horrors or those who deny its existence in their own families. Depression is like being covered within a hole with smooth sides. Repeated attempts to climb from the hole are futile. The energy to reach for a lifeline, when it’s thrown your way, is spent in the attempts to claw to the sunlight of an opening.
Psalm 34:4, finds David trying to escape from his fears and troubles. “I sought the Lord and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears.” Again, David acknowledges God in Psalm 34:6. “This poor man cried and the Lord heard him. And saved him out of all his troubles.”
Just as King David, the humbling in my life hasn’t been without pain, humiliation, and embarrassment. Some of those feelings I chose to wallow in, but many more were because of the proud family I am a member of. My maternal grandmother’s mantra was, “in this family, we don’t faint, cry, or get sick in public.” After straining in the attempt to follow the family rule, it was rarely possible to, faint, cry, or get sick, even in private!
Other experiences have helped me understand that set routines are essential to those plagued with the pull toward a depressive nature. I’ve shared some helpful tips in Chapter Five for dark days. But what if the dark days turn into weeks? I’m not a medical doctor, but I do know the signs in my body and would urge you to follow your own body’s signs.
Don’t Ignore Yourself or a Loved One Who:
• Is unable to concentrate on even the smallest of tasks or becomes confused while doing them.
• Loses interest in favorite activities.
• Becomes unusually quiet if he/she is a talkative person.
• Begins to babble, but normally has little to say.
• Experiences noticeable changes in body weight and energy levels.
• Expresses low self esteem.